God’s Acre vigil remembers lives lost through suicide

From the left: MCpl (Retired) Harold Davies, Malahat Legion; Sgt (Ret’d) Jim MacMillan-Murphy, Sidney Legion; Sgt Shawn Gaudet, Esquimalt Legion; and CWO Dwight Grieve, Malahat Legion with Fisher, Jim MacMillan-Murphy’s PTSD service dog. Photo credit: Debbi Ferguson

Peter Mallett
Staff Writer
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Military veterans and family members gathered Sunday Sept. 27 for a sombre ceremony to remember the lives of fallen soldiers who have died by suicide. 

Victoria’s fourth annual Candlelight Service in Memory of Soldiers of Suicide (SOS) was held at God’s Acre Cemetery. SOS honours soldiers, sailors, and aviators who chose to end their lives due to mental health issues related to their service.

The event is normally held in four cities across Canada but due to COVID-19 precautions events in Ottawa, Montreal, and Thunder Bay were cancelled.  The event in Victoria attracted the maximum allowed capacity of 50 people.

Locally, SOS is organized by Sgt (Retired) Jim MacMillan-Murphy with Megan Willett Hiltz, a registered nurse from Victoria.

MacMillan-Murphy served with Princess Patricia’s Canadian Light Infantry in Cyprus and the Golan Heights. As emcee of the event, he told those attending the event isn’t just to remember the names of the fallen but to uplift their surviving family members, loved ones, and friends.

“The primary purpose of this event is to provide moral support to our SOS families and raise awareness about the respect and pride we have for all of our Canadian military members,” said MacMillan-Murphy. “At the same time, we hope to change the taboo surrounding suicide in our military, and more often then not when someone loses their battle with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).”

The first SOS ceremony was held in 2013 in Ottawa when the loved ones of 21 suicide victims gave permission to SOS to share the names in a role call to conclude the ceremony.

The size of the role call has more than doubled. At God’s Acre, Willett Hiltz read aloud the names of 54 military members before lighting a candle in their memory.

MacMillan-Murphy served in multiple Canadian peacekeeping missions overseas and has been diagnosed with PTSD. He confessed to those in attendance that he has attempted suicide on multiple occasions.

“Do I still get destructive thoughts, regretfully yes, and as recently as a week-and-a-half ago,” said MacMillan-Murphy. “But what took me out of the darkness was a text from a friend and former military member Debbi Ferguson asking me, ‘Are you okay Battle Buddy?’ The text helped ground me and take me out of the darkness and back to the present.”

Ferguson, a retired S1, spoke at the event and is the creator of the Battle Buddy Challenge Coins, that offers hope and support to veterans going through difficult times.

Those gathered at Esquimalt Veterans Cemetery also included the parents of Cpl Stuart Langridge, Sheila and Shaun Fynes. Cpl Langridge died by suicide at CFB Edmonton in 2008. Also attending were the wife and daughter of MWO Colin Bell, Natasha and Patricia Bell. Bell was an Intelligence Officer with 1 Canadian Air Division in Winnipeg who took his life in 2019.

After Willett Hiltz completed role call, she read her poem Commitment to Remember.

Commitment to Remember
By Megan Willett Hiltz

They were young, as we were young,
They served,
Giving freely of themselves.
To them, we pledge,
Amid the winds of time,
To carry their torch and never forget.
We will remember them
TOGETHER:
We will remember them.

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Are you a military member in need of support? Call the Member Assistance Program 1-800-268-7708 for a confidential talk, 24 hours a day, every day.

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