PTSD: Wounded & Addiction

Thomas Goenczi, 
Lookout Contributor 

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When we are psychologically wounded by trauma, we have many avenues we can take. However, our choices and our sense of autonomy are often shrouded by old patterns. These patterns develop on emotional, behavioural, and mental levels. This is a very unconscious process for most. Due to this unconsciousness, we are unable to notice how far we’ve strayed from our path of psychological well-being. 

 

The issue isn’t necessarily downplaying the magnitude of what happened at this point, but rather our capacity to cope and process it. When we are psychologically wounded by a traumatic event, we consciously and unconsciously do the best we can to address it. However, with trauma, any coping deficits that we’ve carried through the event often get amplified. Because of this, we can be led down a path of desperate overindulgence which turns into dependency in the pursuit of comfort. 

 

When we become over-reliant on one way to cope, the cycle of habit becomes constricted. Our life becomes a perpetual revolution of the same pattern day in and day out. It is debilitating when we can’t see ourselves moving forward and there isn’t a vision of what we can become. Feeling and thinking as though we have run aground, we often unconsciously choose to double down on the method we know all so well. This approach of healing from the trauma in tandem with dull inactivity can create a perfect storm for addiction. 

 

One way to look at addiction is by viewing it as an unconscious habit turned into conscious reliance. From the outset, when dealing with trauma, we are looking to bring relief and distance from the psychic wound. This is done in earnest at first but becomes artificial when one realizes how detrimental the habit has become. 

 

Studies, exploring the link between PTSD and substance use have found the two often statistically coexist; estimates suggest that in the low range, they co-occur at a 25 per cent rate with the prevalence of the association being as high as 49 per cent. 

 

The ego in some sense no longer has the capacity to hold all the pain that it has endured. Our ego – the conscious part of ourselves – explodes like a light bulb in the night sky with our latest trauma. We are without light, and darkness begins to creep in.

 

We can’t see what’s happening at first, the old excessiveness becomes the new norm. This is what makes addiction by trauma so insidious. At the end of the day, we are just looking for some relief, to escape and to give up our ability to choose. However, to give up oneself in this manner, without authentic confrontation of the core issues of our lives is to live a life guided by fear.

 

The topic of addiction seems to have a significant pull on the collective psyche these days. And, it does cause you to take a moment to step back and look at some of your habits. 

 

• Where are my psychological patterns birthed from? 
• Why are my emotional and thinking patterns like this?
• How much did the trauma I needed to endure influence these ways of living?
• What are my current ways to cope with it?
• Who is making the calls? My conscious self or am I driven by unconsciousness?

 

Asking yourself questions about your patterns is the first step to self-enquiry. When we are curious about ourselves, we find the hooks that we are snagged to. Once there is that awareness of a pattern, one can begin to explore options on how to best navigate it moving forward. This sounds all rather easy, but it is not easy. It may be simple, but not easy. 

 

The first part of choosing is knowing we have options again and options give us light. And, when we begin to piece together the shards of our ego again, we can do so in a manner of awareness and choice.